*Thank you so much to Jen Savage for this guest article.
Writing used to be my lifeline.
Early in motherhood as I was trying to make sense of all the big feelings and the new emotions, I would regularly escape to a blank page — a space — a solace — to process the magnitude of it all.
I wrote after time when I was rushing and caught my daughter’s hand in the car door and was processing the subsequent mom guilt.
I wrote when I had a miscarriage, needing a way to acknowledge the pregnancy and all the feelings associated with the trauma.
I wrote when I found out that despite my desire to have a natural birth, I was destined to have a c-section.
There was so much surrender, confusion, excitement, and joy in so many stages of motherhood . . . and the page became my THERAPIST.
I wrote so much that I filled up an entire book. Sharing my observations and reflections connected me with a community. Suddenly, I wasn’t alone and overwhelmed by these feelings. Instead, I was part of a universal story, contributing my unique part. I was also giving voice to feelings that others may have had but were afraid to share. It felt empowering and transformative to write.
And then one day I stopped writing about motherhood.
I don’t know if it was pandemic fatigue or life circumstances — but one day, the need to write like my life depended on it just ended. And somewhere along that ending, became a new beginning. I realize as I reflect now that I have entered a new phase of my motherhood journey.
I am now writing the next chapter.
I have kids. And we have settled into a rhythm together where we go on adventures. We play Uno. We crash into waves at the beach. We watch family movies together.
The beach is no longer a place of stress — where they put sand in their mouths, and I chase them around. And movies aren’t just something I put on when I need a break.
We read books together and have inside jokes. We have profound (age-appropriate) conversations and work together as a team.One of my goals for motherhood was to enJOY it rather than just survive it, and somewhere along the way, I started to do just that.
Like anything in life, there are still challenging moments and lots of big feelings — on both their parts and mine. But I am taking this moment to reflect that something major has shifted and part of it feels gradual and part of it feels abrupt.
I’m writing now because I spent so much time early on chronicling my motherhood journey, and this feels like a chapter worth chronicling. And I’m writing this for other mamas who may be in the thick of a season right now that has its peaks and its valleys to remind them that it really is all temporary — the challenging and the beautiful. Those moments that feel like they will last forever are more fleeting than you think. The relationship that you forge and the values that you share will continue to evolve and transform in ways you may not be able to conceptualize at this moment.
I will forever miss parts of the baby and toddler years. And there are moments that will remain glorified in the past as I look back. The nostalgia that I feel only adds to the fabric and meaning of this next chapter. The memories that we share with our kids deepen the relationship that we now enjoy and experience.
As I enter this next chapter, I have many thoughts, but one that stands out the most is if you ride the wave long enough, the tides will change. And if you commit to it and stay present, you may just find joy along the way.
About the Author
Jen Iamele Savage is a dreamer, a writer, a teacher, a coach, and most importantly a mother of two. An educator for 16+ years, Jen uses her current experience as a Montessori instructional coach to help guide her parenting journey. Jen owns and operates a coaching business, Inspiration and Bliss Coaching, and has written three books including The Language of Motherhood: A Mosaic of Beauty, Pain, and Oneness and The Language of Mom Rage: From Injustice to Transformation. You can find her on various blogging platforms, such as here on Charleston Moms, Motherly, Sivana East, and Her View from Home, as well as on her website: www.inspirationandbliss.com