My Dear Friend, Social Media Broke Our Bond


My dear friend, I fear our friendship is falling apart. It hurts to say these words and as I try to envision just what they mean, but the damage has been done. Ignoring the impact of your social media infatuation would only further our fallout. I have begun to worry that we may never fix these broken pieces and I fear that our beautiful, messy, and unconditional connection may have met its match. What started as a fun way for you to keep up with friends and family, has become a tremendous component of your daily life.

Yes, these feeds can be appealing. The likes, the comments, the oversharing, it can all be a thrill. The ability to cast a wide net when you need information is helpful, and you cannot beat the connections or communities that can be found.

Nevertheless, keeping some of you saved for real-world companionship is important.

It is through your social media that we see you focusing more on your feed, the way that you turn to your app for some feels, and begin to cross boundaries that you’d never near with friends and family when face-to-face.

I understand where you are coming from, I have so much grace to give! You are a friend that is more like family and the most well-intentioned person that I know. It is funny how platforms, such as Facebook, can inch their way into overtaking your life. First, you may find yourself gaining good feels from your feed. Maybe next, you are seeing “facts” that fulfill your family’s beliefs.

Then, before you know it, you have fallen down a deep (and VERY dark) hole.

You don’t log out. You don’t take a break, or a breath, or pause to check how far away you’re falling.

You are suddenly believing everything that you see.

You are no longer aware that you are being fed directly from an addictive algorithm, that was specifically created to keep you coming back for more.

My dear friend, you have become lost somewhere between fact and fiction. You have stopped paying attention to the feeds of the friends that brought you to Facebook in the first place. You are now being consumed by the clickbait that backs your claims, the gratifying comments, and the never-ending supply of algorithm allowed stories. You have gone so far. I see it changing in you. You genuinely fear what you are being fed, experiencing fight or flight, and it is clear that you are wholeheartedly invested YOUR cause through comments.

Do not forget that our feeds are made to make us feel good. The algorithms always give us what we want, whether it is authentic or inaccurate.

Please, take a step back. Take some time off. We all need the occasional week away from the consuming void that is social networks. You need to stop fueling your fears. Take a moment. Experience our yes, sometimes devastating, but also beautiful world away from algorithms. Breathe in the beauty that is living this life, sometimes social media free.

Log out.

My dear friend, I have reached out. I have tried to connect. I have tried to make you conscious about your clicks and your fleeing lack of connection to reality. I miss your face, our friendship, and who we were before social media severed our ties. I hate that I have to sit aside and watch you spiral and spin. Friend, I wish the world for you! I want you to see the beauty that is around you every day. I want you to know that we can once again work together to raise our children in a world of kindness and compassion, a fact that you will never find through your false feed. 

You will never find peace clicking on or participating in, those posts. You cannot resolve conflict through comments. And you will not find fulfillment when you let Facebook fuel your feelings and thoughts. 

My dear friend, I never want to let you go! I never want to end our connection, our beautiful bond. It hurts me to watch you deny, daily, the need to press pause and resume reality. Our binding has certainly been broken and our friendship is falling apart. What was once strong, is now a spurious spiral. It hurts to hear myself say, but your constant seeking out on social media has driven you in a different direction, inching you farther and farther each day.

My dear friend, please, come back.

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Chelsea Enders
Chelsea is an Air Force BRAT turned Air Force spouse and has twice called Charleston, along with more than twenty other duty stations, home. She is a mother to three strong girls, aged 3, 6, and 9, plus an adventurous aussiedoodle. The military has certainly handed her some unique parenting situations, with a lot of flying solo, both figuratively and literally, but having countless opportunities to show her daughters independence and instill adventure is one of her and her husbands greatest goals! She hopes to encourage other mothers to find joy in the small moments and make the most of wherever you may find you and your family. In her spare time Chelsea runs on podcasts and coffee, enjoys family camping trips, pre-pandemic traveling, and all things spending time outdoors. Aside from being both a full-time student and stay at home mom of six years years, she is also the founding coordinator for the local chapter of Stroller Warriors at Charleston AFB, a free running group for military families. When her days of stay-at-home-motherhood come to an end, she hopes to find her place in elementary education. Until then, she is both excited and exhausted by trying to find the joy in all the moments of this wild & messy motherhood.