My hair wasn’t damaged from heat or color.
I liked the way it was cut before.
I’m not sick.
I wasn’t bringing awareness to a disease or illness, or in solidarity, with someone I know personally — though this is a GREAT reason to do so!
I wasn’t going to donate my locks (my cut was asymmetrical, too layered, and short to do so this time).
I enjoy my “culturally defined” femininity.
I haven’t gone through a breakup, nor has anything upsetting happened in my life.
I’m feeling as mentally stable as I can be during a pandemic.
In any way besides my hair, I haven’t gone “Britney Spears” — whatever that means.
I didn’t even think I would necessarily look great with a buzz cut…
So why did I do it?
It is 2020. Why do I feel I have to provide those qualifiers and explanations as to why I would shave my head as a woman? Can we move past those stereotypes in our society?
I did it because I wanted to. I got tired of dealing with my hair in the “Groundhogs Day” of pandemic-laden, hot Charleston days. I had an inkling of a desire to try it out. I’m a stay-at-home mom, we’re not really going anywhere, and my kids will be schooling at home this year. I didn’t think I would have the guts to turn the clippers to my head any other time but now. So I did it.
Well, actually, my kids did it! It was my big birthday gift to myself for my 31st, and I decided to make the memory include my two young boys. And IT WAS FUN!
After ALL that has happened this year so far… Why WOULDN’T I shave my head?! Why the heck not?!
And I actually don’t mind it! I even like it some days. And as far as comfort? I LOVE it.
Reflections
I’ve already had someone assume my sister and I were a couple with my buzz cut when we were out with my son (who is clearly adopted). That’s never been an assumption with my hairstyles prior… but this person did so in a respectful manner, and I didn’t feel the need to explicitly clarify — it wasn’t necessary in our conversation. It doesn’t matter to me if people assume my sexuality incorrectly, as long as they’re kind.
People have told me I’m brave to shave my head. But honestly, the longer I had the idea in my head, it just felt more right than anything! I feel relieved to have tried it.
I still laugh about the decision I made. Every morning I wake up and think, “Well, there it is!” I probably won’t keep it this way long-term. But I’ve come to like it in this season, and I don’t think I would hesitate to do it again in the future if I wanted to!
More than anything — I feel liberated! I feel free from cultural expectations and strong in my sense of self. I don’t feel I need to cover up my head, and I don’t wear makeup every day to feel more feminine with this cut. I didn’t get a buzz cut because I thought it would be pleasing to anyone. And I didn’t keep my hair length for others’ approval. I made this change for myself, in this specific season. I couldn’t be happier!
I enjoy the freedom from needing to do something with my hair daily.
I enjoy that my face and neck can effortlessly breathe in the Charleston heat.
I enjoy that I’m trying something different from anything I’ve done with my hair before.
I enjoy the fact that I’m learning more about my hair and the shape of my head!
I enjoy that I did something bold to go along with this crazy year!
I enjoy that I created a memory with my boys rather than staying in my comfort zone.
I enjoy feeling confident in my decision.
I enjoy still feeling beautiful because hair doesn’t define me.
