If you’re a mom in 2023, you know the headlines that literally make our hearts sink. They make our palms sweat, our hearts race, our thoughts go wild with worry. Right, the headlines about school shootings. For me, this topic is one that I have such a hard time writing about because it literally scares the breath out of me.
But that’s not what I’m writing about today, per se. I’m here to discuss something similar but closer to home. I’m here to talk about pretend gun play.
Everything from the little pocket-sized guns to the big colorful machine guns that shoot round after round of foam bullets. Gosh, even the sticks they find lying around can somehow be turned into a gun. It feels like all my boys want to do is pretend shoot.
My boys. My sweet innocent little boys. They once loved playing with dinosaurs and matchbox cars, reading nursery rhymes, and eating from applesauce pouches.
Those days are gone . . .
My boys, now six and nine years old, beg and plead for Nerf guns. Every holiday, every birthday, and even on quick trips to the store, they ask me to buy them a gun.
And every fiber in my being says, “No.”
But then I have a weak moment, where I’m convinced of the fact that “it’s just a toy” and “they know it’s not a real gun” — yeah. I get that. I understand that my boys are simply asking for a toy and they don’t truly comprehend what a gun is. How can they? They’ve never seen a real gun, let alone felt the emotional pain of what a gun can do. And I hope they never will.
But deep down in my heart, it hurts every time they hold a toy gun up and pull the trigger. My breath leaves my chest when I hear them “pew pew” at each other while playing. And the constant talk of war, battle, fighting, and killing. It’s sometimes too much for my sensitive, empathetic soul.
What’s a mom to do? We have the discussions — the ones about innocent lives being taken and how war is the opposite of peace. I remind them every day to be kind. I encourage them to find games that challenge their creativity in other areas.
And I know that pretend gun play isn’t the root of all evil. I simply have mixed feelings about seeing my sweet, innocent boys pretending to shoot a gun. My heart warns my mind that they will somehow become jaded to the danger of a gun — what happens when they grow up? What happens if they find a gun at a friend’s house? The what-ifs can take me down a rabbit hole of emotions.
So yeah, we have a few toy guns laying around the house. And I would never judge another mother for doing the same. Some moms might even feel that gun education is the way to keep kids safe. Whatever you choose, I trust you. I just hope my boys grow up knowing that guns are dangerous. Guns hurt people. I’m not afraid to say it, but in my opinion, guns are horrendous.
I give myself grace and know that I’m teaching my boys to be kind humans. It seems like something deep in their blood is drawn to guns and fighting — it’s the masculine side of them starting to show its form. But I’m going to do my best to channel that masculinity into something more productive. If we can all encourage our young men to love more and fight less, maybe we have a chance at this thing called peace.
