*This article was originally published in 2019, and updated in November 2024.
We had just gotten home from visiting family in Massachusetts (where we’re from). All I wanted to do was to jump right back on that airplane and fly back. I thought about the memories I would miss out on, the time I would lose with my aging grandparents, and the excitement on Christmas morning my children wouldn’t have waking up at their Mimi and Papa’s house.
As a natural-born optimist, I immediately felt guilty. It felt like I was doing myself and my family a disservice by thinking of all the things that would never be. My husband and I were the ones who chose to live here in Charleston, after all.
I had to decide to make our holiday season as special and memorable as I could in our home while still honoring our extended family’s traditions.
Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Without Family Around
I know many of us are in the same boat this year — celebrating holidays in a place without our extended family nearby. Here are the ideas I’ve thought through in how to still make it special for our own family!
Making Our Own Traditions
As I think about the kind of memories I want to make in my home, I can’t help but imagine my two young boys 20 years from now explaining to their friends or significant others the traditions we’ve made throughout the years. It brings me to tears knowing that the things I practice with them now will be just as important to them as the traditions I grew up knowing and loving around the holiday season.
Here are a few ideas of intentional activities that we are excited to instill in our immediate family this year:
- Advent Calendar
- Wooden Nativity Set
- Baking Treats for the Neighbors
- Kids-Only Christmas Tree
- 25 Days of Christ
- Birthday Party for Jesus
Keeping the Old Traditions Alive
I feel the closest to my extended family when I honor the annual traditions that my parents and grandparents have. Some of the best times I’ve had in my life were when my Pepere handed each one of us grandkids a five-dollar gift card to McDonalds (and then Dunkin’ once we got a little older).
My brother’s birthday falls on Christmas day, so we would always make him dress up on Christmas Eve in a repulsive costume and sing the Twelve Days of Christmas. He could never seem to get out of it!
Everyone makes the same thing to eat on Christmas Eve also: my Aunt, teriyaki chicken wings; my mom, homemade pizzas; my Memere and Pepere, KFC. Everything about it is special and meaningful to me.
- Grandmother’s Pie Recipe (Ours is a meat pie!)
- Tacky Christmas Ornament From a Loved One’s Tree
- Annual Christmas Cookie Exchange
- Christmas Eve Candle-lit Service
- Annual Yankee Swap
- Turkey Sliders and Turkey Soup with Leftovers
- $5 Gift Card to a Fast Food Restaurant
- Singing the Twelve Days of Christmas
Remember the Reason for the Season
Christmas can be a daunting time for many. I tend to dread the amount of money we spend on all the things each year. Overwhelm and guilt are more prevalent for not being able to physically give as much as we’d like to during this time.
It’s been my mission to keep kindness as the focal point of the season. My greatest joys in life have been to give more than I receive and to put someone else’s needs, or even wants, before my own.
- Give a Special Offering to a Non-profit or Church
- Sponsor a Child (Find a local program to provide a child in need with Christmas gifts)
- Volunteer at the Women’s or Homeless Shelter
- Operation Christmas Child
- Special Dinner for a Family Less Fortunate
- Baking for the Local Fire Department and Police Station
- Check out these other local opportunities
The most difficult thing on this entire planet for me has been to be away from family. It’s something I completely underestimated. Once I had children of my own, that feeling just magnified.
That being said, there is still so much good to give and love to share. With so much that I’ve been given, I can’t help but find it my duty to instill lasting memories, hold on to the good times, and give with what I have.
