When we first became foster parents, we had no idea the challenges that would come with our very first placement. Attachment, much to our dismay, was slow to come for everyone, including our new ten-year-old. We needed something that would allow us to spend time together and build the bonds of family without the pressure we all felt to connect.
My husband turned to the movies and games he loved as a child — something he had always looked forward to sharing with our kids.
And that meant that we dove headfirst into the world of Star Wars.
Star Wars was the bridge we used to start having conversations with our new son. It was right around the time that the new trilogy was announced and the movies were sweeping through the box office. It brought an entirely new generation to the beloved movies that made an impact on the film world decades ago.
Our son was excited to see the movie and my husband was excited to share this with him.
Of course, there was more to the Star Wars universe than the movies themselves. There were TV shows and movies that weren’t part of the original trilogies. There was an entire universe created around the mythology of the world George Lucas created from his mind.
But the card game that came out was the glue that we had been looking for in our relationship.
How We Bonded Over a Star Wars Game
The Star Wars Destiny card game was something that our son could easily get into. He was already collecting Pokémon cards, and this seemed like the next logical step for him given his new love of Star Wars films. He would spend hours organizing his card collection, building decks to play with my husband, and dreaming about this fictional world.
It was something that got him to think creatively, but it was also a sneaky way for us to bond with him.
To this day, I have not seen all of the original Star Wars movies but I feel like I have. My son shared so many of the details with me, his favorite moments and characters. I even got into playing the card game with him using my husband’s cards from time to time. It was one of several things that radically changed the landscape of our family.
The Small Things Matter
You never know what might be the catalyst for change in your family. Don’t be quick to discount some of the small things: the books your child loves to read, the shows they like to watch, the places they like to visit.
All of it, no matter how silly or small, allows an opportunity for you to get to know their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. Invest time and energy into caring about what your child loves and watch how it opens the doors to communication.
Even if you aren’t an adoptive or foster parent, moms are always seeking new ways to connect with their kiddos.
Share Your Loves With Your Child
Why not share something with them that means something to you, opening up the doorway to tell them why it matters to you and why you want them to care about it too? It may not go exactly as planned, but it’s something they will look back on decades from now, and then they will remember that they can find comfort in the things you once loved.
As a mom who has two kids who have already launched into the world, I can tell you that some of the small things, like watching a movie together, turn out to be the things that make the biggest impact years down the road. Take the time to watch the movie, play the game, and tell the story.
You never know when your child is listening.
